Published April 8, 2025
Parenting Blogger, teacher, and mom of an autistic child, Jackie Davidson, shares her perspective on common misconceptions of autistic children that she has encountered.
Background
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a teacher. I have been a teacher since I was 22 and started to stay home with the kids once my twins were born when I was 31. I was in what we call an inclusive classroom where I had general education students and special education students, often with no extra support. When we found out our daughter was autistic, I felt like I had a decent handle on how to connect with autistic individuals; I was wrong.
While I had the basics down, I had no idea of the nuances and the difference in the disability as a child grows. Now, as a mom of an autistic child, I see so many common misconceptions from those around me because I, too, used to believe the same things!
Therapy
The first super common misconception I can think of right away is therapy. If people are aware that there are therapy requirements for autistic individuals, they often think about behavior therapy, also known as ABA therapy. Not all autistic people belong in ABA or even need ABA therapy. ABA is new and its effectiveness is up for debate because of its recent emergence on the scene. While many kids attend ABA therapy and see amazing growth, I would say that many autistic children are not in ABA therapy because of a few factors: finances, huge time commitment, conflicting time commitment with school, and making great progress with less intense therapies.
Behaviors
Another common misconception has to do with meltdowns. I often get questions looking for the reason why Lydia is having a meltdown. A meltdown is triggered by something, and often, the initial trigger is what people think the meltdown is about. For a typical kid, this might be true, but for autistic individuals, it is different. The trigger is a very small part of the reason for the meltdown. To explain here is an example of what happened with my very supportive family.
My youngest daughter’s birthday was being celebrated complete with cake and presents. After going through a few hours of helping Lydia share, telling her she had to wait for cake, and expecting her to sit at a table for dinner, gifts were being opened, and a meltdown ensued. One gift was something Lydia has a special interest in, and so she instantly wanted to take those particular things to organize and stim with them. Click here to read more about sensory issues. However, this led to just one more thing she had to be told no to after being told no often the last few hours, enduring social norms of a birthday celebration, and not being in the comfort of her own home, and so a large meltdown occurred.
Once we had her calmed down, my family thought the reason was that she didn’t get what she wanted. I wish it was that simple, but it was so much more than that. The gift and being told no was the trigger, but the meltdown was about everything. People only see the one trigger, but as parents, we see the whole picture. For Lydia and many others, a meltdown leads to becoming dysregulated, which just makes the meltdown bigger and more exhausting. Being mad that they didn’t get what they wanted is the kid in her, and having a meltdown that causes things to get broken and her to be physically exhausted is autism. Many autistic adults have explained these moments as complete blackouts.
Change Your Perspective
There are a multitude of common misconceptions about autism, such as being a little “socially awkward” as a definition, or that autistic kids “enjoy” routine when actually it is the only way they can thrive. I could list misconceptions for days, but instead, I will leave this article with some advice: do not try to understand autism through the eyes of being neurotypical.
If you are neurotypical, to understand our autistic friends, family members, or even coworkers, you have to immerse yourself in their lives and begin to think like them. Every day is a challenge for them to try and read how to socialize and exist in their world. The least that can be done is that the neurotypical people around them can try and learn why they feel the way they feel and not theorize.
To do this, being here is a great first start! Actively reading and seeking out answers is needed and deserved. My daughter spends years of her life going to therapy and having support in life to live like others. A few hours of reading to understand her is the least others can do!
Story by Jackie Davidson for BlueWaterParent.com.
All content of BlueWaterParent.com is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute medical advice.
